Sunday, May 15

on letting go.

he sits quietly still
in seclusion,
he, with his wrinkled face
and pallid skin,
his withered hair
and calloused hands,
and his wry, almost
mournful smile.

he is labored as he
stretches his lips for a grin,
and his spirit
is almost penetrable --
his seething pain as palpable
as the superficiality
of his wry, willed smiles.

his gloom is plastered all over
the numerous zigzag contusions
in the kitchen walls,
and the roaches and rats
that scavenge through
the living room,

and the darkening
and ashen sunflower tiles
in the bathroom floor,
and the kitchen sink
which silently dies away
with the birth
of molds and fungus
in its surface.

he continues to smile,
but he is bereft
of his once
adolescent vigor,
reduced to a sorry
and solitary fellow,
his drive to live
propelled
by nature's prodding,
and not his own;

he lives and yet,
he ceases to exist.

but each night
when the clock
would strike six,
he would light
a candle,
make a fist
and hold it
close to his heart,

look at her picture
in a white gown,
neatly arranged hair,
and the most pristine smile,

as beads of clear water
would drop from his eyes,

as he is again reminded
of his fate,
and as he resigns
to the inevitable --

that he is alone
and inconsolable.

17 comments:

Peter said...

Are Sundays reserved for sorrows? Made my heart weep. Who's he?

Nowitzki Tramonto said...

asteg yung post :)
zumi-zigzag :) ahihi~

claudiopoi said...

@peter,

i wrote this for an uncle in 2006. my family was visiting him in roxas back then, and i found his misery so palpable even when he willed himself to smile all the time. i wrote this for him.

@nowitzki,

thanks, man. :)

orally said...

this is depressing.
made me think of my father. bedridden. suffered a stroke 2 years ago.

on a lighter note, belated happy birthday claudiopoi

claudiopoi said...

@orally,

sorry to hear that sir. i hope he is okay now. and thanks for the belated greeting.

Louie said...

This might be depressing, but I've seen so much love that you have for your uncle. Like what I've said, I've been really touched. :)

claudiopoi said...

wow naman @louie, real time ang comment mo. thanks for your comment, it's greatly appreciated. :)

Sean said...

sad and yet so beautiful.

claudiopoi said...

thank you @sean. :)

The Gasoline Dude said...

Awww. :(

Very well written.

claudiopoi said...

salamat, sir @gasdude. :)

ıǝɹɯɐı said...

i like it. it's eccentric, sad, and beautiful at the same time.

claudiopoi said...

thank you @rei. :)

Ria said...

I hate you, Clyde. You always write things that break people's hearts. haha! But this is absolutely beautiful though. Because it is sad.

claudiopoi said...

@ria! napadpad ka ulit! uhm apparently, we are kindred spirits when it comes to the beauty of sadness -- but again, when will our love affair with it end?

hai. i really miss you, and i wish to share a few sticks with you before school starts this june.

hugs, ria. :)

Ria said...

Come to Davao. I miss you too! I miss these kinds of talks with you over smokes and beer or coffee. Haay, the poisons that we choose nga naman. But I really, really hope we get to see each other again soon.

I have things I need to consult you on. Haha!

Hugs! :)

claudiopoi said...

naintriga ko sa things that need consulting on, especially with the 'fiance' rumor that's been going around. haha :)

whatever it is, i hope it's positive news (for a change, sa atoa, hehe) because i know you deserve only great things.

i'm not sure about going to davao (but if fighting spirit ang basehan, then i'm there tomorrow na, hehe) but i know we're bound to bump into each other soon -- moot court, yes? hehe :)

hugsies again, my fellow kindred spirit. :)