Tuesday, May 10

on the day i turned 27.

april 21, 2011
part 1.

today, i turn 27.

yes, three more years before finally turning 30, but i must say, i do not feel as though i am intimately acquainted with the cosmos -- because until now, i still feel like a stranger who is treading an unfamiliar path.

last night, while musing about what this new lease on life really meant to me, i found it ironic to realize that even before we are thrust into the world to be part of the multitudes of desolate souls who seek refuge from the stars for guidance, our lives had already been mapped out before us -- or at least, we conform to the mold of societal expectations, whether we think of it as an inevitability or not:

as children, we cannot wait to grow up. there is a lot of time wasted from being excluded in the world of adults. i remember that as a young child, i could not wait to outgrow my innocence, because the world that adults thrived in seemed to be more real -- a relatively less farcical realm compared to the golden unicorns and fluffy cotton candies that were in abundance in a child's world.

as adults, we are taught to defy the world, discard all our preconceptions about society, and wage endless battles against the suffocating moral standards of the undiscerning majority. we are taught that there is no sense in absolutizing knowledge and truth, and that only fools allow themselves to be caged by standards that are premised on mere consensus. the morally didactic in society need to be questioned, the university keeps on reminding us, because we ought to be defiant, lest we end up like the rest of the unthinking subservients.

but as we leave the confines of the academe and we get broken to the ruthlessness of the world, we learn first-hand that idealism needs to be tempered at times. that life, we all inevitably learn, is all about daily routines and patterns, and at times, we just get by with the thought that we need to do what we routinely do because that has always been the norm of the world.

that the idealism that propped us up during adolescence needs to be tempered with the fact that the world is vast, that we are minute in its wide expanse, and that ultimately, we are left with no other recourse but to conform -- until we breathe our last, and death emancipates us from the ordeal of always trying to fit in.

part 2.

as a young child, i wish someone would have warned me that at times, idealism rips your soul apart, that love is sometimes feigned, and that promises aren't always meant to be kept. i wish someone would have told me that even when society is double-faced at times, we still need to be subsumed under its stifling dominion.

that as we age and inch towards mortality, our very humanity will slowly be spirited away from us -- and that most times, even when we are defiant, we are helpless and incapable of doing away with the imminent defeat.

21 comments:

glentot said...

Hey, you just turned 27. Why so serious??? haha... You sound like all the joys of life has already been sucked out. I think life becomes a drag when you think about it too much.

Sundin natin ang ginintuang aral ni Edmilyn, "Here's your money you can go now." Bahala ka nang i-relate yan sa buhay mo today...

green breaker said...

happy birthday!

-GBreaker

Louie said...

Happy 27th, Claudiopoi!

Pero wait lng, na-confuse ako bigla, if I am not mistaken, I also greeted you the same a few weeks ago. Hala, nakakahiya ako. Haha!

Anyway, I feel you. Pero, we always have this one opportunity to re-map our lives, don't let it pass. I'm sure it will come to you.

All the best, my friend. :)

ram said...

happy birthday.

KikomaxXx said...

happy birthday lang akong maingon hehehehe

claudiopoi said...

@glentot,

haha. klasik pa din yang edmilyn na yan. thanks for the greeting, mehn. :D

@green breaker,

salamat naman po.

@louie,

actually, i wrote that on the day i turned 27. which is not today. it was back in april. hehe. nagdadalawang isip kasi ako if ipopost ko o hindi. :)

@ram,

salamat po. :)

@kikomaxx,

lamat bai! :D

Will said...

Akala ko nagbirthday ka ulet!!! hahaha

claudiopoi said...

@will,

hindeeeee! ngayon ko lang napansin. sumulat ako ng birthday post before and after ng birthday ko. :)

Manech said...

Despite this, happy birthday Claudiopoi.

There are people, however, who choose to break the mold. All of them are kinda stubborn, of course, but a handful of them, as far as I know, are the most interesting people I've met in my life.

Though I don't really believe in defying just for the sake of. Going with the tide is just as reasonable as going against it, if you have the right purpose and philosophy.

gillboard said...

i'll read this again later, pero for now...

Happy Birthday Cly...

teka lang, binati na kita nun ah!

i guess i should read this before i comment. :P

claudiopoi said...

@manech,

i agree with you on the folly of disagreeing just for the sake of. i guess i just miss the company of friends whose philosophies coincide with mine. and i guess this is still part of the 'ensnared' series, kasi i feel like for the past few months, i still haven't found my center. i miss all of you.

@gill,

tuhmuuuh sir. i made this on the actual day of my birthday, which is not today. :)

Kane said...

claudiopoi,

Your writing seems so devoid of hope, or of joy. It seem you think we are helpless, mere actors on a stage.

Even if indeed we are, can't we have fun doing it? =)

Kane

Louie said...

A huge blunder: May date pala sa taas - april 21, 2011.

Ako na ang hindi keen eye. Lol.

claudiopoi said...

hi @kane,

yes, we can. you have no idea how addicted i am to fun. you just can't sense it with this post because that's actually my bipolar-ness kicking in.

anyway, welcome to my humble abode, and i also look forward to reading more of your posts. :)

claudiopoi said...

@louie,

hahaha. i actually modified this post today (the date lol), because a lot of people greeted me na. :)

Kane said...

claudiopoi, you can't. I'm kidding. =)

1) There's a follow link at the very top of every blogspot page

2) You can manually add the website to the pages you are following in your dashboard.

I hope this helps. Cheers =)

Kane

claudiopoi said...

so i had to brandish my technomoronic tendencies here. haha. thanks citizen @kane. :)

Peter said...

Hey, thinking too much? So what have you become at 27?

PluripotentNurse said...

hi im a new follower of your blog hope u'l follow me too thanks!:)

claudiopoi said...

@peter,

hmm. sensible question. and i don't think i can give you an honest answer right now. i'll get back with you on that, okay?

@plurinurse,

thanks for dropping by sir. :)

claudiopoi said...

@peter,

yes, overthinking. that has been my preoccupation lately. kaya siguro nega ang posts ko lately. haist.

@nurse,

welcome naman sa bahay ko sir. :)